japanese quiz preparation/mind

I having japanese quiz later on 1.30pm, but I am now just start my prepare at 9am, oh my god, I using 50minutes to study and memories well only 20 katakana word ?!lol, but it is alright, learning a new language is nt an easy task, even late 3 week enter the class, but tis is nt an excuse for me, I must try harder to do it ^^ I can make it, japanese is fun, at least I think so, I have much interest about it, hopefully I can memories all before the quiz start ^^Good luck to me , thx ^^

Today I am still wake up on 4am, but different is I have go back sleep again from 7to9am, it make me feel good ^^ however, I found that I am still wishing to know how u all view on me? Am I annoying to u all sometime? Is tat really tot me is gay? Are u all really tot me is spannar? but soon I stop all these thinking because somebody have told me not to think so much before, so I just change and tell myself tat I know I am not at least to myself, I didnt disobey my 良心^^ Hope always if I still trust on myself, so tat is my feel today morning^^

I will stop my writting here, now I am going to take my breakfast and continue my preparation for japanese quiz , goodbye , c ya ^^

好累好想睡觉

好想睡觉哦~一直打哈，但是一点半有课，要等到回来才能睡，头痛，可能是太早起吧~其实昨天睡了没多久就起了，起身时大概四点多凌晨吧。。。到现在都还没再睡了，除了煮了早餐吃，看了下戏，玩了下游戏，读和练写日文，就没做其他事了，好浪费时间，可是为什么我最近好像每天都是四点五点凌晨会突然起身而睡不下去了呢？而且还做了些奇怪的梦，除了奇怪的梦，有时还恶梦，自己喊了一声然后起来，虽然不是很大声。。。醒了后没多久所做的梦是什么就都不记得了~只是觉得奇怪，为什么那么碰巧？几乎每一次都是凌晨四点左右。。。

现在好累好想睡哦~日语读了又写了下，写是全都会了，但记的话就还是没那么熟了。。。哈哈，就写到这儿了，我要去上课了，顺便和tutor买课本，这次去提了钱，能和tutor order了，睡觉嘛~就等上完课了，到时间了就冲回来睡觉，byebye,希望很快能再看见你们^^

Wish to be with u all every second^^

无论如何

感觉最近四周的气氛关系总是怪怪的，到底怎么了？难道我又说错话打错话？表错意思？还是说有些玩笑开得过分了？哎呀，头疼死了，疑心病老是那么重，不想了，管他错不错的，我知道我的心没变就对啦^^我对你们的感觉还是没变，我在这里要好的好朋友，你们不是我的朋友，是我的好朋友^^我还是以前那个我！^^

是否？

是否每个人面对前方未来的未知数而感到迷茫，紧张？有时候看着自己的前方，遥远的未来，我也会感觉到些许的害怕，是不是多数人都会有这种感觉？不过还是那句话，兵来将挡，水来土掩，希望我的将真的能把兵挡住，我的水真的能将土给掩埋。。。信心因挑战而减弱中，但投降始终不适合我，我还是会勇敢面对的！

懒惰~

本来想去pasar malam 走走，可是却突然之间好懒惰哦>.<况且一个人走感觉好无聊
真是不应该，哈哈，结果当然是没去了咯~在家煮粥吃了
明天四堂课，早上八点就得起了，真累人，星期六有课，3天八点课，1天九点课，一天十点课，哈哈，讨厌的时间表
谢谢chaihui今天借我japanese notes,好让我能拿去印，早早做准备^^
每个人都有各自的事要忙，有时还真是头疼啊~不过早该习惯啦！O(∩_∩)O哈！
今晚就写到这儿，大家晚安，我没得选择，每天必须早睡了，哈哈，晚上喝茶随时可以，但没办法每次奉陪了T.T
good night^^

好在

好在知道了些事，让我没那么压力，没那么紧张了，当然也没那么头疼了，幸好。。。

头疼

头开始痛了，看来我是太担心，太压力了，准备工作已完成，剩下的就是去找好assignment groups,然后找个同course,同class,同tutorial,且可靠的人，好让我有不明白时能立刻问，希望一切顺利^^
说实在的，压力好大，想找个人聊聊，开导一下自己，不过还是算了，大家都很忙，只要我能顺利地完成这些任务，应该就会好过些了吧。。。现在头很疼，想休息，但我不能，等下有课，已准备好了，时间到了就能去了。。。坚持加油，能撑到最后胜利就是我的！还是好辛苦，忍着忍着，我行的，放松自己，放松！！！啊！！！！一想到像山一样高的事情需要我及时处理就头疼，又不能不想，有什么既省时又能好好发泄的方法，如果你知道的话，拜托告诉我~好了，就写到这儿，我要去上课了，拼了！

讨厌的感觉

刚刚有课，而且是在八点，可惜的是我在7.55am login utar portal看时间表后才知道，好讨厌哦。。。我又缺席了一堂课，没办法了，我还没准备，准备好了去到那儿我看已经8.45am了吧。。。为了让自己好过一点，决定先把所有东西准备好，等下再多交几个朋友，请教下老师，希望能赶快进assignment group,不能再拖了，我不想没做事情白拿分数！很多事情要做，今天要一次问妥当，要不然过不了自己那关，觉得对不起父母，所以一切要尽快！！！
看到了我完整的时间表，我的天啊~星期六有课，星期二到星期四我都要很早起，哈哈，看来我最近都选择早点睡是对的^^不写了，我要赶着做事了，bye bye~

为何？失眠吗？

为何这两天老是失眠？那么早起，很累却无法继续睡下去。。。这样下去我一定会在课堂上打瞌睡，真讨厌~
什么原因会造成失眠呢？真想知道~至少我能尽量避免>.<
哈哈，想起今天ck问的有没有lenglui,我真的不知道~lol，这下问倒我了，我一向来都没有特地去注意lenglui的习惯，除非不小心看到啦~O(∩_∩)O哈哈~有点好笑^^不过要说我看到的嘛~你们group就有了咯~哈哈=P
好了，今天就写到这儿，虽然今天只有一堂课，但是好早哦~早上10点，所以再躺下看看能睡得着吗~晚安咯各位^^很开心知道你们有看我的blog

粥

今天煮粥又失败了，不好吃，可以算是难吃了。。。每一次都要加点腐乳来调味，腐乳成了我煮粥的必备材料了>.<,哈哈。。。这种水准我还不敢叫人来吃，还在学习中，尝试中，下一次会更好^^
刚在上课时，这可恶的ck竟然打电话给我，还send了些我不明白的字给我，问了又说nvm,真讨厌，吊我胃口，决定上完课后问，哈哈，不过有时这样玩玩也好^^原来“kap”的意思是看~

紧张

拿到时间表了，有点紧张，四点有课，有点担心是否能和新coursemate相处得来，担心是否能跟得上程度，很多的担心，让我好紧张，想找个人安抚我的心情不过视乎没人能办到，那么只好自己加油咯~镇定，努力，我一定行！

今天会是很好的一天，至少我相信着

今天虽然很不正常地，我失眠了，睡了四个小时却起过三次身，睡不好，所以就提早在4am左右起身了，在看着pps,弄热粽子，一次过久吃了两个，好好吃哦~哈哈，早上要去做件很开心的事情，至于做什么，我就不说了，然后就要去Utar问下我的时间表什么时候能出，好让我开始上课，希望可以快点开始上课^^

哈哈，今早就写到这儿^^have a nice day ^^

回程金宝

昨天我和弟弟一起送了件礼物给爸爸，看得出爸爸虽然没什么反应，但却相当开心，看到他开心，我心情也变得不错了^^
今天一早搭了十一点的巴士准备回金宝了，怎么知道塞车害得巴士差不多要十二点了才走，走了没多久，就下雨了，冷得我要命，好在我拿了条毛巾当被盖才能顺利到达金宝，哈哈，坐德士回宿舍才发现一辆较为便宜的德士，和他拿了号码，因为他到车站去只要6块钱，一块两块这样省，能省很多钱哦~哈哈，我很吝啬的！
回来之前，妈妈特地买了好多粽子给我带来金宝，好好哦~好开心^^,想分给朋友，但是我妈给我的只有七个，我不舍得啦~我要吃的~想了想，哈哈，还是算了，自己吃=P我是自私鬼blek~!因为家里没有做粽子嘛~我妈妈特地买给我的，我哪里舍得T.T
就这样我回了金宝，哈哈，干贝带回来了，还带了一个大小刚好的碗让我蒸东西^^
可能是担心拿了时间表后，assignment是否能做完，这次回来还有点怕怕的感觉，不过嘛~该来的挡不了，所以兵来只好将挡，水来只好用土掩^^
今天就写到这儿，大家小心感冒哦~别因为淋雨而发烧了~^^

星期一回金宝

想了想，决定星期一才回金宝，原因呢~因为我想票很有可能全卖完了，况且我还没收到通知说几时开课，就因为这样就决定迟一天回了。。。一直在睡觉，大多数朋友下午都忙着做工，上网聊天？不了，大多数朋友都在赶着做assignment，所以嘛，还是别打扰他们比较好~就这样，很平淡地过了几天，还是很开心^^因为我吃到了很多粽子，哈哈^^
今天就写到这儿，大家再见^^

thank you

Thank a lot to chai hui! thx for helping me buy ticket, luv u so much! haha, u r so nice ^^
Wake up in midnight, feel so lonely, haha, because everybody sleeping so sweet now~ haha, I wan chat to u !!! lol, I cant say "u" is who but is a person that I very take important. But thing cannt be force, impossible I wake him/her up for chat d~ haha,so dun care it^^
Watching movie and playing game may help me gone through this night, waiting for morning come ~ haha, write till here , night everyone~!

最后一刻的决定

最后一刻的决定真是糟糕，突然决定要回去家乡，但是车票却卖完了，看来没缘回家咯~哈哈，算了吧~打妈妈电话又不通，看来我多半是不回去了~

其实

其实很想和你们每一个聊天聊到天亮，但是我找不到话聊，又不想说太无聊的话，结果就找朋友sms咯~别见怪丫^^

好饱

第一次自己煮粥，好算顺利，不过嘛失算了，碗不够小，不能放入锅里蒸，只好白粥配腐乳了~还算好吃^^好饱哦~虽然pasar malam去不成，但至少我煮的粥能吃^^下一次要试下新的煮法了~
星期五我要回家了，因为父亲节要到了，决定做好事情后回家，哈哈，心情算是蛮好的，不过我回去并不打算见任何人除了家人和比较亲密的好朋友^^
就这样好了，今天要早点睡，确保明天一定能起^^哈哈，这样就好了，开心^^

偷懒

哎哟，今天的计划又泡汤了，没想到我竟然睡到傍晚五点多，神经了，睡了那么久，会不会是做了些很奇怪的梦的关系呢？梦的内容我就不敢说了，不过这梦又好像在暗示自己些什么，总而言之，不管啦，暗示就暗示啦~哈哈，明天一早一定要起身，这一次调足五个闹钟，不信不会起身等下煮粥吃^^试下自己的技术~今晚不出去吃了，今天就写到这儿，byebye~
等等~今天有pasar malam哦~等下想去走走，谁有去，告诉我下啊~一起啊~^^

夜晚

哈哈，醒来后看着看着戏竟然三点半了，我的天啊~原来我看了那么久的戏，不过真的好好看哦。。。也好感人，很喜欢看。。。戏里头说描述到的道理很好，很有意义，其实我已经看过第二遍了，但我觉得里面还是有很多我要学习的生活道理，有兴趣的话，希望你们也去看看“天涯侠医”
想起我刚才起床时的情景，有点好笑，我竟然紧张成那样，多亏了你们啊~这两位好朋友，一个让我早上睡梦中突然吓得一起来就从床上跳起来，冲出门；一个呢~在我晚上睡一半时让我吓得整颗心几乎停止跳动，也是一样慌慌张张冲出门，还去证实一下是不是真的没事~哈哈，想起来我好像很好笑，紧张成那样>.< 不过嘛~这才像我嘛~穷紧张~ =P 哈哈
早上还要去拍照，不知道店几点开，再去学校交表格就行了^^开心^^,我要对自己有信心，绝对相信自己能拿到不错的成绩，我要加油，明天煮粥吃，希望不会太难吃，我的锅很小，有谁赏脸要来吃，告诉我丫^^不过先声明，只是白粥配蒸蛋，腐乳而已~哈哈，各位，晚安^^

我可以

在facebook上看到了一首歌，让我想起刚开始喜欢上听歌的自己，这一首歌。。。真好听，越听越喜欢~
情感越来越丰富，感觉越来越不像从前的我了，是进步了？还是退步了？这之间找不到个平衡点，我只知道不管是以前现在我都活得很好，享受着这首歌中~

对不起爸爸妈妈

我让你们担心了，长得这么大了还要你们担心我的成绩，不过你们放心，我会累，但我不曾放弃过，我一定会考好给你们看的，我会证明我不是说说而已，我是认真的，我所拥有的一切都是你们给的，只要能看到你们微笑的脸，我一定能考得好，再加上这次我拿的可是算是我比较擅长的，放心吧，我知道你们支持我，虽然没表现出来你们的失望，但我明白了你们的感受，我什么都不会再理，直到我成绩考得让你们满意为止，爸爸你说的外面人面关系很重要，我会听的，我从今天起，誓做足功夫在人际方面，不会让你们担心，以我的能力，我一定能做到，我会想尽办法让自己的脾气完全去除掉，再让自己成为一个可靠的人，我答应你，我爱你们

Misunderstood

Misunderstood always appear around me, it maybe my way of skill to express myself are poor , I have to talk again, u all are my best frens, u know who u are, dun suspect, u r also my best frens. that is all I wan to tell today, I will stop here , my blogging number will start decrease, cause I found tat my past way is better to express myself

清爽的早晨^^

很快的，有过了一天，平平淡淡无所事事的过了一天，觉得有种在浪费时光的感觉，哈哈，不过早晨的空气真的好清新，好想到外面走一走，看着远处呼吸着新鲜空气，不过还是算了，一个人走很无聊，而且也会无端端很多感触，还是算了。。。眼睛不太舒服，感觉好像很辛苦，有种有泪又流不出的感觉，心里真的好像在挣扎什么似的，我想我病了~哈哈

今天没打算做什么事情，看来也是在电脑面前渡过了。。。我好像很久没有更新我的资料库了，哈哈，生灰了~不过也没心去更新啦，很麻烦。。。真不明白，为什么我会喜欢帮助人？自己都没解决自己的事情，真是呆子一个>.<,好人又未必有好报，还可能被误会，何必这么麻烦呢？做个现实社会的人要好些，安全点^^

感觉自己又写了些让人会有些猜疑的话，不过没关系啦~没多少人会真的想了解我的。。。哈哈，我心里怎么想，又不会特地去告诉人。。。也没人会特地问我，结果都藏在心里咯~心里秘密其实还是很多的，藏起来了嘛~哈哈

朋友们，我老是落在你们后头，慢了你们好多好多。。。一个个肯定都在我前头毕业，有时心里还是会有种不是滋味的感觉，不过是我自己能力差，能怪谁，这一路走得并不顺利，虽然如此，好在还有一群肯支持我的朋友，是你们给了我所需要的感觉，谢谢你们（成龙，华进，thye,min) 好朋友固然多，知己也不少，但是能给我我所需要的感觉就只有你们这几个朋友了。。。不要误会，就算我没把你们的名字写上去，你们依然是我的好朋友

今天(心里的世界)

完成了该做的事情，我买了5包干捞面当着几天的食物，哈哈，前几天花费太大了，要省点，虽然我爸爸告诉我吃东西不要省，想想也真对不起他们，没考过像样点的成绩给过他们，也难怪他们对我没信心，要得到他们两的“love” 我就要加油了
对大部分的朋友都有疏远了的感觉，怎么了？虽然有一两没有让我有这种感觉。。。可能是我太累了吧~哈哈，应该只是我的错觉，有时候真的希望我不要这么敏感，那么容易猜疑^^
呆在无聊的宿舍里，心里很不自在，想睡，但最近梦老是那么的多，且又奇怪，睡不好，怎么回事？哈哈，心情虽然不会低落，但却也开心不起来，好想好想。。。找个人来了解我。。。不过也太勉强了，脾气古怪且情绪化的我，相处都有些难了，更何况了解^^，我还是我，一个人独自坚强的我，毅力不倒！只要有你们的支持，但就算没有，我也不会倒！为自己而活，我开始觉得有点道理了，为别人而活始终是太累了，要爱别人，先多爱点自己，不要让自己老是受伤，所以在爱别人的同时也要爱自己，一切就不会那么地累了^^
我写的blog,大多数给人的感觉都是emo着的吧。。。其实只是我不善表达自己，我只能说，谁对我真正好，我是知道的，我不会做比较，但谁真正对我好，我一生都不会忘记，绝对会报答你只要有机会^^

对不起，关心我的朋友

本来应该直接告诉你的，但我不知怎么开口说这些，想了想就写在这了
两个星期了，我的application form竟然还没办妥，我只是怪着advisor没心帮我，可想了想，事实advisor的确没心帮我，但这好像只是自己给自己的理由罢了。。。因为我的确是拖了又拖，我自己都没心去做，怎么能怪advisor没心呢？一般人就算被人锁在家一个星期，相信还是早都办好了，但我却在这自甘堕落，谢谢你提醒了我，真对不起，我要振作，努力总有一天会有回报的，哪怕只有一次回报！不是每次都没回报的！对自己说加油，谢谢提醒，朋友^^我明天一定办妥它

Deep inside my heart

hurt deep inside my heart, smile cover my surface, I may look strong, but it is not real, I am weak deep in my heart, my pain would never let u know, cos there is a stone made door in my heart, dun try to open it without using weapen, it may hurt urself, if u didnt know me enough , u will never know where my hurt from, and even what is the weapen u should use, do believe me, deep inside my heart is full of pain and seriously hurt, dun try to get my door open unless u believe that u can do it.... or It might hurt me even more serious... a simple word might nothing to u, but it may seriously hurt me, my heart is trembling, just because I always disobey my heart.... dun thinking of urself after viewing this, this is wat I talk to my inner self to comfort myself, to make a treatment for myself, to force myself back to the reality and also face the reality ...
I am sick since long time ago, but a doctor are not needed for me... what I nid is "love", I wan the feel of being love...but I will never get it, cos I am so weak, nt strong enuf to get the chance of being love... I am down actually , but i force myself to act happy in front of u two, trying my best to smile to u two , I already trying my best, please....please trust me, do give me the feeling of being love, I need the love of u two...

心

新sem的第一个星期很快就过了，因为着好朋友们的活动，我过得相当充实，虽然该做的事并没有如期完成。。。今天是星期六，照理来说应该是开心的日子，但我一点也开心不起来，因为我只能闷闷地呆在宿舍里睡觉，看戏，上网。。。好累啊，心里的烦恼还蛮多的，因此睡眠要非常充足，才能保持心情愉快。。。虽然在假期期间心里多增加了一份痛处，但也因此让我深深感受到了我家乡的知己们和金宝的好朋友们对我的相信，对我的好，很开心，但因为伤我的人我有着一定的重视，这感觉还是不太好受，算了，我的心能真实地感受到谁对我好。。。谢谢你们^^ 你们对我的相信，信任就足以让我感动非常了。。。
今天的blog就到此为止，谢谢观看^^

回金宝了

我第一次感觉到那么不舍得家里，我的好朋友，我的弟弟，我的妈妈。。。回到了熟悉的金宝，迟了一天回到，因为买不到票了，搭了晚上11.30pm的车，到了的时候大概6.00am了，好累，车开得比平时要慢，因为johor那一带昨天起了很大的雾，就像上云顶时那么厚的雾，而且也很冷。。。当我从车上下来时，我几乎跌了下去，全身使不上劲，而且还有点酸痛的感觉，怎么回事?~不过很幸运的，有taxi能载我回宿舍，当回到以后，我发现我少带了一样重要的东西，干贝（煮粥的重要材料）。我的天啊~怎么办呢？算了，之后再打算吧~ 打开冲凉房准备冲凉，却发现4只蟑螂在里头，当然。。。我大开杀戒了，换床套时又发现了只蟑螂，看来是我宿舍太肮脏了，很不幸的，让那只蟑螂给逃了，稍微整理收拾房间了之后，我已累得动不了了，不知怎么的，头开始痛了起来，没办法睡。。。唉，想了想只好取消今天去问转科资料的行程，好好休息了，9.30am左右，我稍微睡了下，但起身后，还是一样头痛，为何呢？我不知道。。。没有力气，也不想出去，结果早餐午餐到现在都没吃，等晚上再吃吧。。。还是好累
其实这次回来，感觉变了好多，回金宝时没有前几次那么开心了，好奇怪。。。是压力吗？不懂。。。所有感觉都不像从前，怎么了？哎呀，不管了，可能是没办法和好朋友们一起上课，没有那么熟悉的感觉了。。。最后决定连课都不去了，在宿舍里听歌，偷懒一天，不过明天可不能这样了，有空时要去买点书来看晋升我的知识了，我已经慢了，听了歌，写了blog,心情好点了，只是怎么突然下雨了，不过也罢。。。很凉很舒服^^像是暗示着我休息时间到了，哈哈，我头还痛着，哪能睡？！没法了，撞墙又怕痛，只好慢慢等好点了再说咯~^^
这里的好朋友们，我想你们了，什么时候能见面呢？很期待^^但不知道为什么也有种害怕的感觉

情感世界（朋友篇）

To All my friends:

在情感世界里，没有所谓对与错，没有所谓付出必有回报，好人未必有好报，这是无可否认的。。。常听见，有朋友反目了，再见如不相识，擦肩而过，彼此认识彼此，彼此曾经要好，成了熟悉的陌生人。。。其实多数只因为误会而起，误会？当有人告诉你，你误会他了，你会怎么回答？你是否会说“误会？我没有误会他，这就是事实”， 但事实真是如此吗？你真的了解整件事情的经过吗？如果你因为某些事情而反目，那我奉劝给我亲爱的朋友们，你们认识多久了？你对他多多少少都有一定的了解，难道他是这样的人吗？你丝毫不小心验证，只凭表面证据，就定了别人的罪，难道你听到的是整个聊天的过程吗？难道你能看穿他的心吗？你能明白他心里是怎么想的吗？说错话是常有的事情，不经详细查证你就胡思乱想是你的事情，为何要让他人受罪？送给一些自私的朋友们，请用“心”去对待朋友，好吗？不是为了别人，而是为了你自己啊！你希望别人信任你吗？那就请你先信任别人吧。。。更别说是曾经的好朋友了。。。错并不重要，重要的是错了不知道悔改。。。因为一些缘故，让我想回了过去，又想到了现在一些朋友的状况，才引起了我这番感触。。。我累了，但我信任你们，我的朋友们，你们绝对是我最要好的朋友，无论你们怎么看我，就算是把我当成敌人，仇人，我还是把你当做我的朋友，只因为我信任你们，你们绝对是值得信任的好朋友，虽然我可能不是，情绪化且也常说错话，但我对朋友的心永远是颗真正的心。。。受伤的心得以复原全归功与你们啊。。。我psychology course里的好好好朋友。。。所以我不后悔选了这科，只因为我认识了你们。。。我的世界因你们而美丽，让我摊开我的心接受你们，卸下我这因受过伤而戴上的面具（虚伪的自己）。。。我舍不得你们，愿我们的友谊常住。。。

From kahzhing

疑惑，希望，笑一个^^

成绩揭晓以后，到底还有谁打算进社会大学呢？看了你们的blog,我看到了你们不开心的理由。。。你们的“爸爸”打算进社会大学了，相信他也会舍不得你们吧。。。只是有时候，开来的挡不了，该去的拦不住，虽然可能提早了些，但也只能看开了，开心点^^微笑着，他不会希望你们不开心。。。
看到你说所谓的他们可能包括我吧。。。如果是，我只是想说我暂时还不会离开，这是今天与一个很要好的知己讨论的结果，至于其他人，我还是那句话，他们全都不希望你们因此不开心。。。还有。。。没有谁需要谁这种道理，我们都相信你可以的，有信心点^^

看了第二个blog,我只想说安不安慰并不重要，你的心意早已传入我们的心中，无论决定如何，好朋友就是好朋友，别因此心情低落，虽然这要求苛刻了点，希望你能做到，为什么这么说呢？因为我的感觉是如此。。。我看了成绩并不伤心，但我看了你们的blog，我却开始有点担心，伤心了，我在乎你们，不希望你们因此不开心，心情低落，相信他们都是一样的，开心点^^

我的表达能力或许不好，但希望你们能理解我想表达的，你们开心时，我虽然未必开心，但你们不开心时，我却绝对不会开心，不只是我，他们也一样，我相信，所以请开心点^^要理由？因为你们不会希望我们不开心吧~^^所以笑一个^^ 当然如果你所说的不包括我，那就把最后一句改成“因为你们不会希望他们不开心吧~^^”

^^微笑^^

夜晚，胡思乱想的我

就这样，一天又过去了。。。夜晚，是人最疲倦的时候，好累啊。。。在睡前，如往常每当我闭上眼时，脑海会不经意地浮现一些曾经有过的甜蜜，开心画面，不管结果如何，过程的确很开心。。。可是就当我这么想时，往往心情就会开始低落了，开始会有种不一样的想法。。。如为什么我运气不能好一点呢？为什么我为家所做的事不能得到认同呢？为什么？为什么？一切一切。。。我开始怨天怨地了。。。原来老是把这一切当成挑战的我也有这一面。。。我的信心原来已经开始减弱了，只是我不知道。。。好想要有个人能够体贴地关心我。。。可是我找不到，找不到心灵的寄托。。。成绩出了，其实我和多数人一样很紧张，因为我已fail了两次，一直担心这次会不会又fail,可我却一直乐观的告诉自己，成绩已经定了，无法改变，一切冥冥之中自有安排。。。这样安慰着自己，看着还不稳定的未来。。。一向对目标信心十足的我，开始害怕了。。。路还很远，这伤痕累累的心是否能顺利一路闯下去还是个疑问，虽然信心可以带领我一路过关斩将，但信心的来源却完全出自于我自己，完全没有理由。。。这使我开始感觉到累了。。。但我不想把这当成休息的借口，我还要继续努力着，不管以后的路有多难走，就算要一个人过关斩将，我竭尽所能也在所不惜。。。
不放弃，相信总有一天能看见曙光。。。我坚信着。。。
很感谢朋友们的陪伴，关心，照顾，但可惜你们不可能一直陪着我走完我这一整段人生的路。。。若有人可以，我愿永远永远尽我所能保护，关心，照顾，给予你一切最好的，直到我的最后一天。。。
愿能有这么一个人

文章到此结束，我要睡了。。。晚安

^^感谢^^

快乐的时光总是很快过去，人的一生说长不长，说短不短，很多快乐的回忆在脑海中一辈子都忘不了，这些美好的回忆往往只是一瞬间，一天，一个月的时光，但却足以让我永远记得，不论好的坏的，感谢你们带给我生命中美好的回忆，感谢你们带给我生命中很好的教导，因为你们才有今天的我，无论未来如何，结果怎样，我对你们的心永不改变，想法，做法，性格或许都会随着时间，经历，知识而改变，但我的心是不变的，我还是我^^

^^谢谢你们^^
给我所爱与爱过的人，所有知己，所有好朋友，所有曾经帮助我的人，所有曾经伤害我的人，所有曾经指导我的人，所有曾经批评我的人...感谢所有曾经出现在我生命旅途中的人^^

520 day? I hate it but I wishing for fren

Yesterday, Happy 520 day to all friends which is in pair. Wish u all always sweet sweet ah ^^ However, I not very like this date ~ because ...I am not in pair !!!! argh !!! haha, a simple reason, right? I am not so lucky maybe, always fall in love with somebody that I shouldnt love T.T, but this is actually a fastest way to make myself growth. Although some sad feeling is uncontrolable and also quite torturing sometime... after yesterday saw a lot of 520 in facebook, blog, I finally know why yesterday my mood so strange...haha, in the start I still wondering why my mood a bit strange and not so good>.<
Anyway, I believe that one day later I will able to meet the right person after few failure ... I believe the day will come... just maybe the time haven ripe... I must believe I will always in love with wrong person, that is just the way god wan me to improve !!!! I believe that !!! My day will come if I never give up. That is definitely me!!! An undieable coakcroach!!!
But now I wishing all of my fren happy 520 day ^^

Have A Nice Trip In KL and a very nice day

Sunway trip is so happy ^^ enjoying many event there... haha, I cant remember the event name well, so I didnt name here. Most happy is we playing water there, all of us dunno swimming but hor....suddenly few ppl know swimming jor, so weird, why ler? haha, i guess we should able to guess it ^^ This day is the best day for me, cos besides a nice trip there, I get a call from my mum that they are stop quarraling, my father start didnt always lost temper to my mum, everything seem going better. They also understand that what I trying to do to concern this family, I am almost crying when my mum tell that they know... I dunno is there anyone can understand my feel, but I am really happy although after I reach home, discover that there is a lot of 后遗症...All bad feeling happen in the morning and evening have seem cured^^

The other day, I decided to stay 1 more day because my mood is gone happier due to the reason I mention above.Haha, I never know all people are prefer see movie so queit and so seriously watching. I cant suit myself to that, feel quite bored >.<
but then I found that is it because I am too happy? then I become too talkactive jor? haha, I decided to silence a bit...and start to sms my hometown friend to see which of them in Yong Peng, my hometown. lol, that time have many time I wan to talk but I stop myself^^ Sorry ah guys and gals, I will change myself to suit this 1st before I next join u all go cinema watching movie^^ oh, later we have go take dinner but I really hate these two fellow, keep playing me >.< ,aiyo, very sienz lar, I dun wan to back to myself when I am in form 4 and form 5. Because that time my way of talking very very kejam one...much easier offend people than now>.<

Anyway, thx to u all let me have a nice trip in this 2 day^^ sorry if I cause trouble >.< and ~ thx u so much ^^ especially chui yee^^ I love u all ^^ haha, that is all here, something that not suitable to talk here already hidden =P dun ask me ^^
bye~ hope to see u all next sem ^^

A New Journey maybe will start le

Just now having my last exam but it seem to be much out of my expectation, I miss took 1 question meaning, 35 marks lost... the other 2question all quite tough and strange I dun have much confident to get pass...after I calculate my marks, hope really have miracle but I guess I have to prepare le, prepare to leave here and start enter social University. It maybe a good arrangement ^^
I have to plan a bit first before it become fact. So now maybe my last moment to be with u all, I try my best to enjoy it. Haha, hope it wont become truth but if it become truth, hope we can meet once again 1 day later. Watever ~ depend on 缘分吧~

Peace in the Heart

I have fight over myself a long time... It is already long time since the war started in my Heart. Now the war finally stop, although I am not sure that will the war restart again in the Heart. It make me feel much relax after I make up some decision, some cruel decision to myself. However, It maybe the best way to get myself out of the war in my Heart. I finally find out my peaceful day in my deep Heart. It may broke out the war once again in any time, but not now after I decided to do so to let my Heart wont easily get hurt again. Tomorrow I having exam, but I have totally no mood for the exam. Due to some issue that I can feel, I have to set again my decision.
This blog might make anyone that viewing feel dizzy or dunno what I wrote about... because everything write till quite blur ... but I am not going to explain for u, because this is the decision I make up and decided to do it secretly.
I stop here, thx for viewing.

Real Self

How many people can accept my real self? After I open out my real self, all seem very clearly... I already know who is my real best friends and who is my fake best friends (talk we r best friends forever only). I am glad to have many great time this few sem ^^ but one thing really dissappointed me is the result after I stop defend up myself and show out my real self. It tell me that better to defend myself than open out myself.

I dunno what u all will thinking after viewing what I wrote out, but 1 thing I can sure is most of u all know what I am talking about. This is the main reason that cause me prefer alone than always with others. I have already change these into my studying force, perhap this will help me well in my academic performance.

I am not strong as my appearance... only those who successfully enter my heart can hurt me. I am quite hurt actually but I pretend to be strong... What U all know about me? Actually nothing. Because ... when I decided to open out myself to let u all know, the reaction already answer me and hurt me well... I pretend to be strong so long time... but today's chatting make really cant control myself to write out these... Dun care about me, I accept the truth. I am not deny that u all will not be a good friends... but not for me ... Heart ...I am using heart to detect and treat everyone, but who else know? I really so hope that somebody really can understood me well ....

Dun worry about me will suffer in the real society, I wont because I know how to protect myself, I can hide well my weakness in social. But I DUN WAN TO BE LIKE THIS WITH U ALL!!! Maybe really not much people can accept... I admit it, thx for accompany me anyway, I am really glad that we are best friends once before I show up my real self. However, this maybe the last time I open out my real self. I am still a lot to tell, but I have to stop here. Or else my heart will start bleeding again because my sincere and our friendship are so weak...

Dun give any comments, I dun wish to hear and see whoever writting besides encouragement. Let me be calm in these few years. We will meet next sem, but I maybe will put back my mask... all depend on my later on thinking. Haiz, next time please dun gorek out my pain, my real best friend.

Smile ^^ Keep my smile always ^^ I like nature ^^

I like to chat with good friend ... especially in the place that close to nature ^^ It make me feel so relax ... Turn my eyes watch back to this sem, It really happen a lot of matters... Finally it come to the end, glad to have the great time with u guys and gals, in the long life road, I will still trying my best to improve myself and assist u all ^^ Nothing can be sure, but i am sure if u need me, I will always there ^^ Be true to myself, be smile in my heart, be happy to get know of u all ^^ Some uncontrolable feeling already under control, now I wish our relationship(关系) will always pure like the nature ^^ Best Friends Forever, whatever I do, might hurt u sometime but I will never do it purposely ^^ Forgive me if I am having mistake ^^ because I am also a normal human being ^^
Tonight's blog end here, good night ^^

^^smile face today^^

Last night, I almost didnt sleep, very late sleep, very early wake up, so sleep till quite late wake up. It is a bored day for me, but I see jor some pretty picture today^^ no matter how many time I see that picture I will smiling ^^ haha, so happy ^^ I guess if I everyday see this picture and study, I can concentrate well ^^

Haha, when almost dinner time, the rain start, but... after my delivery reach, I see outside, stop rain le , my face directly become this (==)

Tomorrow after I asking for the time of the last bus back from KL to YongPeng, then need pack up my mood and study for my last subject le^^
#Anyone know the time of the last bus in KL back to YongPeng, please kindly tell me here, thx a lot^^
My blog stop here, thx for viewing ^^

Birthday party on westlake basketball court

Katherine's birthday suprice party but seem already let her know jor ~ haha, but in the all we still very happy because ~ we playing game ,haha

First, I didnt take part, they playing 老鹰捉小鸡, but seem more like playing 摔跤赛 among ah thye and jye ,haha, so funny ^^

Then we playing 丢手帕，aiyo, tat make me feel so tired, tat jye run like a superman, inhuman speed, cant catch him after he throw 手帕 to me, and I 滚了一圈，aiyo,my knee slightly injured jor ~ haha, but it is alright ^^ the more funny is I sit back the wrong place, got 2 place there, I dunno which one ~ haiz, all laughing me T.T, so bad ~ T.T

Then the last we playing a,e,i,o,u, aiyo, tat is the most suffer, my leg putus jor, tat jye and 1u so geng, keep hug ppl and find chance gay ppl ~ haha, they waiting so long time after 1 round >.< ....lazy to talk so many, go see what ah thye upload later then u will know how funny we are. Aiyo, painful lar , this 1u and jye keep putting the strange pose and put me in the middle, walao, keep hitting me>.< , of cos we lose jor and need to restart ~ haha, here come the most funny one, it make my leg seem not belong to me jor, 1u and jye both blocking my way to infront and behind, I no choice sit down jor the ground,it should be a easy pose but....aiyo, almost can say is 一字马la~ pain ah !!! haha, but i feel 1 ppl more pain than me, xiaojian, jye terlanggar her face, when i hear xiaojian tell that jye u r so strong, I know she is really really super pain >.< , jye ah ~ be gentleman a bit lar ~ lol

Haiyo, my pant break jor a big hole, so sad, I not enough pant wear jor, hehe, can less go yumcha because tat is my outdoor pant~
Tat is a nice party we have, all seem very happy. After I reach my hostel, I open msn and see who gt online. but most ppl offline jor when I say hi ~ haha, maybe it is too late already ^^ good night guys and gals, have a nice dream and sleep^^ I stop my blog here. Bye ^^and It is my blog, of cos wat i write mostly about myself ^^

突然好想你

我想我真的病了，几天没见面怎么能那么想你。。。见面了也要忍着不能泄漏自己的想念，因为我不应该如此想念。。。
是我的错觉吗？慢慢地。。。慢慢地。。。好像有种疏远了的感觉，关系好像不如之前的好了，有时我好想让4月1日重来一次，让我不如此莽撞，而选择默默地守候着你，那该多好。。。不过一切已不能回头，这已成了无法否认的事实。。。我必须面对，加油！时常告诉自己，平常心对待，不让自己老是关心过了界。。。加油！我肯定能办到的，只要我相信！^^(不过如果有时过于冷淡，或关心过了界，还请原谅^^)

星期一了，不知怎么老是以为今天星期二了。。。要开始读书咯~准备下一科。。。
这几天都好平淡。。。好想找个舒服的地方坐着看星星。。。为什么呢？我自己都不知道。。。只是突然好想自己一个人静静地望着远处。。。

好了~想不到东西写了，那就写到这儿吧。。。自己看完了这篇blog，觉得这篇好像很emo的感觉，不过又不懂怎么改。。。那就算了，总之我没emo就对了，只是突然好想你。。。^^

Today

Today is Mother's day... but I am not gonna write about that here. I already send her a messenge with " 母亲节快乐". I dun actually know what wishing should i write about... haiz, forget it, I just wan to let her know i remember and still concerning her. My communication with my both parents can be count is quite poor, the reason I cant tell her, dun wan to break their image, no matter how, I still care of them, wish they are always healthy.

Many of my friends already back to hometown, some are having last exam, so envy them. I still having my last exam paper on next saturday morning. Haha, it also means that I have to be alone for this week le ~ so sad =P. Actually, I dunno why, I discover that I change jor a bit... I am happy when I am alone doing anything although when they call me out, I will extra happy. I dun have much emotional changing already, look like I am enjoying alone and also together with friends. But....haha, of cos this week i have to enjoy alone^^ Oh, hey buddies, when I silence myself will seem like so scary meh ? >.<'' lol~ make me so hurt la, I look like so kind, how come will scary d?== haha, watever...I am enjoying with u all^^

We have the fate to meet, we have the fate to be friends, we have the fate to be good friends, we have the fate to be best friends, it is already more than enough, glad that i know u all, buddies. For further improve, just look at the fate ba...think too much will hurt body d ^^( told myself) 努力过就好，总有花开的一天

There is a hope always ^^

My dinner finally come~ so happy^^ yummy, good thing is always worth to wait d~ haha, I already dun scare waiting, at least there is a hope.^^
Waiting~ when the food come, it taste extra delicious, haha...even if the food didnt come, I can still choose to cycle to outside for eat...There will be not the end of the world even if what i waiting for is just a fake hope.
Hehe, same here, before the exam paper out, I am still have the chance to get the result i wan if i try^^ there will be dissappointed but it is not the end of the world if i didnt get the result I wan.
Many thing are just like something happen around us, look it differently, everything will change, I am learn that from somebody and add some info ...haha, I stop my writting here, continue my dinner and then concentrate on study lor ~

If agree what I tell, pls kindly comment a word 'good' at here. Thx ^^

Exam day

I am so nervous now 4 hours before the exam,so worry...I never like this before, how come I am so nervous, Is it because I fail this subject before? or because my prepare is still not enough? I dunno, I just know I am nervous now. Even I try to comfort myself, I still a bit nervous, aiyo, dun care le, keep on study, when i see the question is I know how to do d then everything can be solve

Insomniac

It is a lonely night, many friends are still burning midnight oil for tomorrow cognitive exam and some of them already sleep. Oh, why I wake up around this time?haha, I keep on sleep 1 hours and wake up...this is too bad, am I an insomniac?

I didnt online facebook and also msn just because I just promised wont open it until my personality exam end. Haha, the only thing i concern is "Is she still doing revision? or maybe already sleep?","Is she need me to call her wake up earlier for doing unfinished revision?", Oh , stop here, I start take my handphone and check the messenge, there is no any incoming messenge. Haha, so I guess she maybe already done revision or thinking that it is useless even I called her wake up for study also xD because she will sleep back. God knows the real reason but I dun care about it, it is her best decision, I respect her^^

Hey!Hey!Hey!Stop my thinking here, since already cant sleep, I should take a good use of these time. There is no time to let me waste, let me start my revision now with some nice song. A bit hungry, haha, cook something 1st...energy are the basic requirement for me to challenge myself with the book^^

My疑心病(I use chinese because I dunno how to pronounce in english) always so strong, if keep on writting and thinking here, I am sure my mood will change jor because of uncertainty. SO.....Go!Go!Go! Let me start doing revision now ^^ Good night and have a nice sleep or nice study, friends !

State:My 疑心病 only will happen to those ppl that I concern a lot and also due to lack of confidence of myself, haha, can be say is lack of security feel.

Haiz, early morning so bored, still break law jor, go play some facebook quiz le~

Heart

My heart already stop bleeding, I have thinking through it, U r worth to let me wait ,I will never give up without a series of tries. As long as u r didnt marriage , my chance will never gone.
Although this might be a fake hope or I will gain nothing even I waiting forever, but I am sure I will regret if I give up just because of these.
Finally, I made up my mind very very certainly, I will keep concerning u and keep treat u good but 1 thing I am sure I will do is ,if there is a chance there, I will go ahead and grab the chance. My principle gone? No, tis is no more a principle problem! It is nothing wrong I chasing who I truly love as long as u haven go into marriage. No matter what is the result, u r still my best friend. I believe u wont keep me a distance because of these, I trust u^^ Just let anything be usual~
I just wanna let u know I have made up my mind, now I shall able to put all my effort into studies and even gain extra energy to continue my preparation for future ! ^^ I didnt lie and I will prove it !

我到底想怎样？

放弃不放弃，我不是早都决定好了吗？怎么我又开始犹豫了呢？可能感觉如此接近，实际却很遥远的感觉不好受吧。。。告诉自己决定了就要坚定！！！
时常我都无法控制自己的感觉，感受。。。希望我对你说的一些话不会让你觉得厌烦。。。希望我的一些举动不会让你觉得难为。。。如果你觉得厌烦，难为，请告诉我！^^ 既然做不到你心里的那位，我要尽可能地抢占我在你心里的分量，哪怕只有0.0000001%或更少~^^我要加油！加油！！再加油！！！想让你想到我时永远只有好的一面！^^虽然很难，但我会加油！

最近的我是不是有点若人厌呢？没带上‘面具’，感觉好不安全，随时会被人讨厌的感觉。。。是我不够信心吗？还是事实如此？我好在意你们怎么看我哦。。。自己到底对你们来说扮演着什么样的角色呢？一定是很好的朋友！！！就算对自己没信心也要对他/她们有信心！！！

想喝点酒，常有人说，借酒消愁，但我并不愁，只是常听到酒后吐真言，很好奇，自己醉后会说些什么~=P

明天就考试了，实际上这篇blog是前一天睡前写的，哈哈，我只是出来做点事情，顺便更新我的blog罢了~ 第一科要开始考咯~加油！！！（对自己说的）xD

顺便注明一下：请不要太在意我所写的，这只是我对自己的疑问及鼓励。。。^^

Noob Khakabo

Just now having a great time in cc with jye,min,des. We playing SDO after we having our dinner, at start it is quite fun but after sometime , i feel really pekcek due to the lousy pc of khakabo, keep on lagging, the seat i take is so hot ~ hot + lagging pc , omg ~ i really pekcek , but i am nt emo lar siewmin, thx to des keep on putting water in sdo and let me win in order trying to cure my pekcek~ after playing few round without lagging , my pekcek finally successful cured~

Aiyo , I wonder how siewmin EQ can be so high , jye keep add speed and reduce the speed she play , she also can tahan~ if me , 1 punch give jye lor ~ haha, although in the game we still losing very cham=.= , it is still enjoyable game cos it quite less lagging. Then we play l4d, omg, jye so imba , the only survival in the game ,in the memory of zhing,md,1u~ it is so sad, jye dump us....>.< although min say if she is jye , she will do so also ~ aiyo , how cruel they are ~ if i am jye , i will go out and say let's die together , we try again the mission =P ,haha, acting good ppl~

In the end, we finally home around 2am , it is so early , my head are so pain , haha ,kill those zombie till too happy liao~ 1st time play l4d so dare to rush but the most damage deal to me nt zombie, is my dearest teammate >.<''
haha,now headaching ....oh , gush , sure is let those zombie hit till pain d~ haha, should i knock the wall and direct faint till tomorrow just wake up ? It seem like a good way but i dun dare to do so ~ haha

Haiyo, I also wan group study le, but i only taking 1 subject same with u all , it will nt effective to me if i join u all ~ haha , so sad~ +u studying , today play almost whole day le , I can do it !!!^^

Do u believe ghost exist in this world?

Argh !!! If there is ghost in the world, please let me know u r always with me lar ,at least wont feel lone ...let me know at least got u accompany me always ...

haha, but i guess if ghost really show up in front of me, I will have a very high percentage faint jor~ but if have a partner then it is much better =P aiyo,我又在发春了~

Aiya, maybe i really used to be in a gang of friends le, remember when i am first reach here, I always doing everything alone. Tat time i really enjoy it but now maybe friends all take an important position in my heart, suddenly feel tat it is so bored when they all didnt around me.

I am too enjoy when with u all le lar , hey , now nt usual to be alone jor ...haha, exam coming soon le ,study study ah~ today morning study about personality,maslow's hierarch of needs, I terus sienz jor, haha, because of love and belongingness needs, esteem needs and also self-actualization needs~ very sienz lor , always see other in a couple, that is why i usually very hate go out ! cheh~ dun like the feel , maybe because of the desire that the need to belong ba~

~.~,other 2 lazy to write le, but in conclusion, after i study this jor , i terus go sleep ~ haha, bored chapter...1 more thing i very bo song ~ it is my line keep disconnect, aiyo , please lar , this 1 make my feeling even worse lor ~

haha, but in the all my feeling is count still alright, at least can study ^^ because there is friends available for me to chat with ^^

Study week is so boring if in kampar but it is so noisy if i back home, in the all = no difference ,continue my life of sleep chat and studying ^^ omg ~ try to enjoy it ba~

oh oh~ hearing song is a very good way to defeat lonely ,haha , these day more prefer tis song 如果我变成回忆，haha, thinking of if i becoming memory of u all , what will happen in u all's mind? maybe will sad? or maybe just like usual ? haha , whatever, I believe that soon I will found somebody that suit me give out all effort forever ^^

满足，知足，感谢，祝福

如果关系能这样一直继续下去到永远，我已心满意足了~这段时间虽然有时很情绪化，心里很挣扎，但总算过了，现在的我很开心，这样的关系已让我很满足，对我来说已足够^^,感谢你让我快乐地过每一天，因为有你，我心里再次有了真正快乐的感觉，所以同样的，我也希望你永远地快乐^^,对我来说不管你怎么改变，我怎么变化，世界再怎么改变都好，你值得让我付出我的相信，相信你，决不会怀疑，我不傻，因为我喜欢上了与你的这种感觉，无论什么时候需要帮忙需要支持，只要回头，我会站在你身后帮助你，这不是我对你的承诺，只是我对自己的约定^^,这也不是什么甜言蜜语，只是我心里最真心的话~ 或许有一天，我会有新的对象，但这些话绝不会因此过期^^
我决不胡乱承诺，约定，因此我不敢保证我会等你一辈子~.~,但我会遵守我对自己的约定^^

哈哈~知道我在说谁的人千万别说出名字，我不想违背诺言，因为被杀掉了就没法实现约定了~=P
不知道的人呢~就别问了，因为我不会告诉你的~blek~

存在感

为什么我对自己的存在感总是觉得好弱？虽然事实并非如此，可能是因为我找不到一样能力能让我自己肯定自己，问题不在他人，而在自己，我输给了自己？哈哈，那怎么行？决定让成绩成为我肯定自己的能力，加油！

无标题

乐观看待，自然面对

今天我突然。。。想家了

今天正当kampar停电，我踩着脚车到westlake的湖时看到了好多人。。。就是找不到一个是独自一个人的，除了自己之外，第一件事，我想到朋友们，可是却想到了他们有些没空，有些回家了，回家？若这时我在家会是怎样的呢？有好多朋友都回去了，我回去能够找到他们，好久没见到他们了，我最小的弟弟，也是我最疼爱的弟弟，好想他哦~想必他也很想我吧~突然有了想在这study week回去的念头，可是马上就打消了，因为我害怕家里的吵闹让我无法专心读书，没办法只好忍着点，不过还是好想他们哦。。。每当我一个人时只会想起两个人，一个就是我那最小的弟弟。。。忍着点吧~我要考试了，加油！

kampar大停电

停电前突然有些哮喘，就在打算休息慢慢恢复时，突然停电，又热又喘到要命，只好出去透透风，决定到death end 去吹吹风，天不从人愿，才踩脚车出去五分钟，下雨了，只好走回头路，回到那么热的宿舍里，还喘着的我累得要命了，就在我坐在窗口边呼吸新鲜空气休息的当儿，雨停了>.<,才下了不到十五分钟，决定再出去，这次总算顺利的到了death end,凉凉的感觉好舒服，好棒！
我有拍点照片，虽然我的技术不是很好，人也不帅，但风景不错^^太无聊了，因为我在那呆了好久一下，哈哈，因为不知道怎样从手机转来laptop,所以没有放上来那些照片。。。
差不多七点多这样，天色慢慢暗了下来，回到宿舍后发现，整个房间，黑漆漆，热乎乎的，呆了一会儿就跑了出去，但同样才出去五分钟就下雨了，好讨厌，好累啊~坐在窗口外玩着laptop一些无聊的game,因为太暗了，没法看书，notes我没法online看，因为没save下来，玩了三刻钟左右，就闷到不行了，在窗口边吹了下风，雨停了，八点五就出去death end那儿想在那再呆一会儿，但是才到那儿，电力供应就回来了，我也就踩了脚车回来，停电时一个人的感觉不好，ck竟然在ipoh,weijye回langkap了，siewmin回ipoh了，chuiyee回kl了，destenie不打算出来，teckweei手机没电，好讨厌的感觉啊~虽然事事都不太顺利，不过总算过了，好累了，写完这blog我要睡了，不读书了。。。真的很累，晚安，大家。。。。

坏人

最近怎么老觉得自己在什么方面都好坏哦~尤其是心里~但又说不出到底哪里坏~可能是自己多疑了，错觉吧？哈哈，总之就是好奇怪就是啦~
哈哈，读书读一半跑来写blog,因为晚上实在太无聊了，上网开notes读又一直断线，好闷噢~网络很不稳定，不过话说回来，这么夜读书好真好，安静，只有风扇，键盘按键和按滑鼠的声音xD，很舒服，很喜欢
下午晚上睡太久了，结果凌晨起来，虽然肚子饿，不过为了diet，只好忍着，顺便做点运动，读点书，这感觉挺不错的^^这么好的夜晚用来思考问题是最好不过的，不过叻~我答应过人尽量少想一点，所以呢~就不思考，不想多多咯~哈哈
虽然才没见半天，好想一个人哦~不过叻，我不能这样^^读书要紧，哈哈，读着pengajian malaysia,不知为什么midterm分数好差哦~没办法，只好努力点，我不想repeat这科啊~哈哈，加油咯！
人有时还是单纯点好^^,像这样不去思考，不去想任何问题的感觉真好，很舒服~
告诉自己别那么在意了，喜欢就是喜欢，只要没做违背良心的事就行了^^
接回了msn,才发现到~destenie还没睡~还真早啊~哈哈，原来又是睡不着了，告诉她些怎么样比较容易入睡的方法后，她就去睡了，希望是真的睡啦~lol,经常偏头痛还经常那么迟睡，真是的，虽然我不知道偏头痛需要做什么，不过听siewmin说是需要足够的睡眠，休息~要顾好自己啊~
写到这儿，也是时候继续读书了，再多看一下，就要再睡一会儿了咯，掰掰~^^
谢谢观看我的blog,给点comments吧~这样看起来我的blog就不会好像没人看了~哈哈，感谢^^

无聊

正常时间睡不着觉，我老是这样，哈哈，说要去睡了哪知道睡不了，翻来覆去睡不了，自己先说晚安，躺了又睡不下>.<,这样的时间还有谁来陪我聊天，，结果还是得躺着等到睡觉，好讨厌哦~哈哈，不过嘛~自找的啦！我要努力睡觉了，大家晚安^^

睡不着觉的夜晚

睡不着觉，没心情读书，又没事做，结果又开始思考问题了。。。思考？结果还是没有很好的答案，就不管它了，思考的问题内容我就不说了，心里的决定就暗自进行好了。。。
看着窗外，好安静，视乎所有人都睡得正香甜，怎么我还在这儿看着窗外？
看着脸书，只有些要读书而没睡觉的一些人，我又没读书，怎么我还在这呆着呢？
看着msn,只剩下一两个人还上着线，好少啊~结果就来写blog了，写些什么才好呢？没点子，只好乱写一通咯~最近老是想太多了，害得我头老是在痛，相当辛苦，但是还是会想，都没法控制自己不去想~不管啦~头疼就头疼咯~事情解决不了就会想，想了又头疼，又控制不到自己不去想，不玩咯~再这样下去我会累死，先用逃避的方法暂时避一避吧~再一样一样解决，现在考试重要^^

希望与失望只在一线之间

难道一切的一切都一定有正反两面？了解得太多的确不是件好事。。。但了解得太少也不好，看来事事都有个平衡点。。。只是看自己怎么去找而已，我希望我能找到，不要失望而归。。。

帅？很难想象能用在我身上咯~

虽然不太相信，不过谢啦~因为我觉得你们都不会像1u那样~哈哈，头疼啊~竟然这样都能看到我手机里的照片~更头疼的是竟然还说我和jye以前都比较lengzai~还说我以前很瘦哦~哈哈，有点高兴又有点hurt,所以要赶快减肥下咯~哈哈，我不要做胖子！！！加油！

一个人时

开始比较喜欢自己一个人的时间了
一个人时，我能做任何我想做的事，不受约束
一个人时，我能完完全全出去我的面具，不必掩饰任何的不悦
一个人时，我能看着蓝蓝的天空享受着微风，不必被说成是emo
一个人时，我能整理自己的思绪，不会被自己的情绪控制住
一个人时，我能想我所想着的人，不用担心被打断
一个人时也许有很多自由，但却缺少了分享，虽然如此，心情差时，我还是选择一个人或两个人，不想让自己情绪影响他人，每个人都是独自的一个人，我不能占有他们任何的东西，因为我没有权利，虽然与朋友们一起很快乐，很开心，但有时候享受寂寞何尝不是一件好事？^^

野心

决不止步，直到理想达成！理想不需要空想，计划必须附于行动，积极行动直捣理想，永不放弃只为成功，我的野心决不止步于此，为自己和所在乎的人奋斗，斗志永不熄灭！
谢谢你们的信任，我相信，我感激，我喜欢你们^^我爱你xD

开心时光

在大学生涯里~终于找到让我开心的理由，我一定会努力地

理想与梦想

你的理想是什么啊？理想？我的理想是成为个有钱人，因为钱不是万能，但没有钱万万不能。。。什么方法能赚得快些呢？什么方法能够让我赚到第一个一百万？想了又想，觉得替人做工，这个目标真能达成吗？于是就想到了企业家，而开始了一项一项的计划，虽然不知道在三十岁前能否达成，但至少我会尝试，学习技能。。。什么技能呢？我个人觉得人才最重要，因此学习了怎么去看人的优点与强项，此外，股票知识，会计知识，工作经验，创业资金，市场未来走向，还有好多的知识需要我学着，去掌握着，虽然我现在只在第一阶段，但不代表着我失败了，我还会努力，我会成功的。
梦想，好多人都认为理想和梦想是一致的，可我不这么认为，因为我的理想与梦想并不相同，我的梦想是一个人活在大草原上的一间房子，终日与动物们为伍，偶尔能躺在那一大片的草原上看着那蓝蓝的天空，感受着微微的凉风，自在的生活。别骂我说，那你就去跟着动物们生活啦~那是我的梦想，你没有梦想吗？无知的家伙，梦想几乎是不能达成的，要不然怎么叫‘梦’想。。。如果你的梦想能达成，那我真是非常地羡慕你了，我喜欢大自然，也喜欢自然地和你们相处，所以这梦想并不完整，为什么说梦想是一个人活在大草原上的一间房子？因为你们有各自的目标，理想，梦想，我可不想让我的梦想连可能实现的一巴仙都不见了，哈哈。。。
理想与梦想在我看来是不同的，你呢？朋友~介意分享吗？哈哈，愿你们的一切都顺利~

心痛

请不要叫我冷静，请不要叫我学习接受，放下，虽然我感觉得到你们的关心。。。但冷静，接受不是我所要的，当我成功证明我的存在时，就是我心结解开之时，我说过我不介意单身，原因是我对自己没信心，自己对自己都不够信心，要怎么让别人对我有信心呢？信心建于我的能力，我的能力目前只建于对于人性了解多一些而已，基本上全都在学习，我不喜欢和老是误会我话的人聊天只因为我不知自己什么时候会因为这种误会而得罪他。。。让我冷静？请问是谁让我不冷静的？我说这话没有恶意，我道歉有时不是因为我真的错了，只是觉得再继续下去不是办法而选择退让，请问这算不冷静吗？接受？我已经接受，最让我痛的是因为我的努力付出竟然如此不堪一击，说散就散，我没有怪她，但这让我了解了些事情。。。我不知道怎么说自己，我只能说，我不是个好人，为什么那么说呢？因为我不懂得在朋友面前戴上我那面对人时的面具，因为我对朋友虚伪，因为我不懂得付出要有所保留，我不懂得把自己放在第一位，我不只不是个好人，我还是个笨蛋，知道我为什么喜欢自己一个人独处吗？我喜欢享受自在，我喜欢大自然，我只喜欢让我喜欢的人管。。。知道我为什么喜欢和你们一起吗？因为感受到自在和关心，但这感觉已逐渐薄弱了。。。别问我，我不知道，我只是感觉到，我不再像之前那样只要和你们一起就很快乐了，我不相信人性却对你们付出真心，因为我不相信人性，只相信你们，你可知道？累啊~这两个字我常用，谁知道为什么？因为我真的累了，面对着这些在你们之间，我却爱莫能助的问题。。。凡事都有个原因，我或许有些自傲，但我什么时候对不起过你们？我并没有表面看来那么坚强，请不要伤害我，因为不是每次我的理性都能控制着自己，可知道我为何喜欢自虐？我宁愿伤害自己也不愿伤害别人，因为我从不把自己放在第一位，或许我很傻，但若反过来做就是聪明，那我宁愿一辈子当傻瓜。。。我或许真的很差，很逊，但总有一天我会证明我比你们任何人都行！至少我坚信着！就算世界没有人了解我，喜欢我，爱我，至少还有我自己了解自己，喜欢自己的思考能力，爱着自己不放弃理想的精神！
注：此文章全属个人想法，并没有指定任何人，如果你觉得我在说你，那就是你的事了
哈哈，反正我怎么写都是emo，那就请当我是emo着，赏个comment吧~
感谢尝试了解我的人，xxxxx xxx xxxx xxx, 谢谢你，倾吐了之后我好多了~希望没影响到你^^

刚下了一场暴风雨

暴风雨好短暂，就短短的那三十分钟，暴风雨时那风声，雨声，雷声，闪电，全都没了，只留下宁静的天空，小鸟的叫声，还有那飘落在地上的树叶，感觉暴风雨就像自己的脾气，发了个半小时的牢骚就恢复了以往平静，虽然会留下了好多不好的印象在别人的脑海里就好像暴风雨后留下满地的树叶一样，当然我也因此尽量避免在朋友面前发脾气，我好喜欢被大风吹的感觉，感觉自己就好像飘了起来，无忧无虑地飞着，好舒服~我也好喜欢看雨，感觉回小时候的自己，老是在自己家门口看着那从天而降的雨滴，滴滴答答声的感觉真棒，就好像所以烦恼都掉了出来，虽然这些雨也能让我回想起一些低落的回忆，当我第一次谈恋爱时，几乎每天都下着雨，我家还被水淹没了呢~我好爱她，直到现在偶尔还是会想起她，虽然已经不会那么的痛了，但我无法把和她在一起的那段时光抹杀掉，因为那是我非常快乐的时光，因为我的不成熟而造成了今天这个地步，或许永远都是这样了，不过我很开心，因为拥有过她，虽然男女朋友最基本的牵手约会我都没开始就结束了，但我还是很开心，现在那份爱已慢慢淡了，我希望我能不犯下之前的错误，不再执着，手放开，不约束的去喜欢，爱一个人^^
暴风雨。。。原来能让我那么感触，想起那么多。。。不管开心或不开心的，总会过去的，所有我一定要珍惜我现在所拥有的所有快乐的来源！

Thinking.......

I am always wake up at around 4-6am morning recently, why do tis happen??? I am so hate to wake up around these time!!!! Nothing to do and I will start thinking and thinking these problem i meet recently and also wat yesterday happen? Why it is always my habit? I dun like tat but cant stop myself to thinking about tat. These day many friends have quarraling and some misunderstanding is happen on them. I feel tat i am so helpless, know the problem but cant help at all. I am so happy when tis sem have start, i feel that so happy to see all my friends getting with a very good relationship between each other but now ..... however since already happen, it cant get back to before... These day my mood is going to become more and more unstable, I wondering why was tis happen...now i found tat it is because of the change happen around me....... sometime really cant hold myself to think about it, why it would become like today? However , i have to telled myself the truth tat it is already become fact. I am so happy to have u guys and gals as friends, I always said tat i am so lucky because i have meet u all. I treat everyone of u all are the same, with my real heart. Tat is y i will worry about our friendship ....Besides, sometime i will think tat if i really cant pass my result and stop my life in U, Will u guys and gals miss me? or I will be forgetting soon.... Of cos I will said tat u all will sure remember me as friend, but who know the truth is ? Before It really happen, nobody know wat exactly will happen. I hope myself will be important to someone, so i keep trying my best to take a seat in u all's heart. I dunno whether it is success but I know I have put my effort in. Although nt every efforts will gains a good result, at least I try my best already. I enjoy giving out myself to others and I happy to do tat. I dun wish anyone of my friends become so poor just because some unwanted misunderstood !!!! I dun wan...I dun wan....I dun wan......I nid promised but i know the fact tat promised is nt really a promised, a promised can be break..... of cos , I will keep my promised to everyone, and trying my best to do it ^^ Believe me and also believe urself ! Make our friendship no expired date, it is forever !
Oh , 1 more thing i have to said, I dun like to throw my anger on friends, so when i am nt so happy , i will try to avoid to stay too close with u guys and gals. Sry about tat....
Tat is all and it is only a small part of my thinking tat i share here, hope no misunderstanding about wat I am writting in my post......I am also glad to accept any comments to my view, I will accept it if u have ur point and it suit me ^^ thanks